Title:	Untitled
Date:	2007-10-13 @ 23:42
Security:	public
Mood:	Grr...

(Male readers, you are advised to skip this paragraph, and probably the next.)

What, so because I see a cartoon in a skirt when I'm checking my email, I'm suddenly going to rush onto eBay and buy some tampons? Get real. All it makes me do is scowl and click past the advert faster. If any effect is caused then it's going to be negative - no woman want to think about things like that, even if the issue is current. She'll just go to the shop, choose a pretty packet or a well-known brand and remove herself from that particular aisle as quickly as possible. And seeing adverts like that is hardly good for men.

I've noticed two reactions to adverts like this. Firstly, my (male) best friend pretends not to see it and goes a hideous shade of red whilst clicking on anything to change the screen, usually doing something to bugger my computer in the process. He is also afflicted with complete lack of ability to meet my eyes if I complain of a stomachache for about a week afterwards, and treats me as if I’m about to break. Seriously, I blame his mother. The poor guy’s been pussy-whipped before he’s even had a chance to marry.  Anyway, I digress. The second reaction I’ve noticed to this kind of advert is my brother's (he’s irritating and twelve) who snickers at it and carries on, but the next time his friend is over and I’ve lost my hair dryer, or yell down the stairs for them to shut the hell up, he'll smile sweetly and whisper in a dreadfully carrying tone "Don't worry mate, she's on the blob" or something equally eloquent. 

Neither of these reactions act to endear me to either party – I end up either praying for strength and throttling my brother or rolling my eyes because my best friend is such a (there really is no other word for it) sissy, and then killing him for dropping my laptop in shock. My mother’s sympathetic ‘tut’ing at my brother’s repeated assumption doesn’t really help much. On the of chance he ever is right, the only thing I’ll want to do is rip there bloody heads off.

(Male readers, welcome back.)

But it’s not just these adverts that pee me off. My next complaint? Charity adverts. These not only annoy me but upset me as well. It’s not my fault animals and children are abused or that there’s a drought somewhere so a village of African people is dying. I cannot do anything, so ruining my day by making me feel guiltily for the things me or my parents work hard to earn has no charitable effect. Sure, I give to charity. My friends laugh at me when we go into town and I buy food because I nearly always end up sharing it with a tramp, I spent all last summer working in a charity shop for children and I help out at a kid’s club. I’m eighteen, poor and time is all I can spare for these causes, so why make me feel bad? Except of course, with doing A-levels, time isn’t really an option, so I’m made to feel lazy too.  An advert like this actually made my little cousin of about nine cry, but sometimes, I think people like her and me are the only ones who notice them. Seriously, how many people go about their business without giving these damn things a second glance? Now, I’m not vegetarian or one of these irritating ‘Save-The-Whales’ types who seem to go out of their way to try and make you punch them, hell, I’m not even moral! I’m just human, and it’s that human empathy that makes me feel for these poor creatures, or humans, or whatever the hell is having some crisis in some remote part of the world I’ve never heard of.

I detest the makers of these adverts only slightly less that what they are fighting against – they are too extreme, and it’s this thoughtless extremity of belief that leads to things like suicide bombers. Also, this type of people are the same type that post shocking ‘Meat is murder’ propaganda videos on places like YouTub under the names of popular songs and shows. Or those ones that seem intent on creating a warhead of hatred against places that eat sushi. I was physically sick when I saw one of these, accidentally, I might add. And it’s not like I don’t have flaming opinions on animal rights and welfare. My form tutor last year actually banned any discussion of the former after a particularly lengthy debate that ran over into lunch.   

 Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that all advertising is bad here, (although any day now I’m expecting them to find a way to put commercials in books). No, used well advertising is a powerful tool that can really help flagging internet-based businesses and alike, but misused it is a irritating, pointless and on occasion, just bloody disturbing.    

Oh, and in an example of, what I see as, possibly dangerous, stupid advertising. Today, I was happily wandering the net in the rare moment I have when I’m not supposed to be doing anything (or can momentarily overlook it) and there in the banner was an advert. It was for one of these sites’s to give you an online cartoon personality thing, and you’re on there and it’s all cool. My problem with this? The caption was “Be who you want to be” with a picture of a hideously stereotyped orange, large-titted anorexic cartoon with bleach blonde hair. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but surely it is beyond hypocritical for governments, educational councils (or whatever the hell they’re called) and those irritating groups of pompous mothers with way to much free time that seem to plague almost every school, trying to turn there livings into something akin to Desperate Housewives, to be printing front-page headlines on the soaring depression and self-image crisis of our youth, and their ridiculous belief in the cult of celebrity, (whilst I might add, there are bigger problems in other countries that could be helped by global pressure and keeping the stories in the eye of the world media) and send random people to speak in schools upon the subject of individuality whilst also letting kids log on to these things in lunch and turn up to their primary school in makeup and preteen slut wear. Surely it has to be wrong, (and hey, some could call it racist, why not?) to be presenting an image of a dense, fake person who ends up getting plastic surgery in the belief it will make them perfect and then committing suicide when there life doesn’t change. Or anorexia. That’s rising in guys as well as girls. Or perhaps we’ll just make the next generation self-haters, I’m sure that’ll be fun for them. Really, we should think seriously, what shall we program our youth with next?

It’s things like this that make me more than just angry, especially as there’s nothing I can do, and if there was who’s going to listen to an eighteen year old fag who should probably know better than to aspire to change the world. *sigh*

All right, rant over, class dismissed.  Go shag like bunnies or what ever it is you normal people do. Or pretend to be working coz I bet your boss is right around that corner.

                                                                                                                Sam x x x

Title:	Rantyyy...
Topics:	fanfiction, rants
Date:	2007-10-11 @ 22:46
Security:	public
Mood:	frustratedly pissy

Alright. Today's pet bitch - badlywritten fanfic porn. You know, I'm not one of these fat women in round glasses that looks down upon fanfiction, and everything else creative apart from 'crayoning skills' (seriously, wtf is up with the word 'crayoning'? What happened to 'hand-eye coordination' or even 'colouring in'? I detest this hidious americanisation. All of them, in fact, but I'm not intolerant. Americans can speak, and spell how they want (I actually find the Lousiana accent really sexy) but in this county, where we created the language we speak, we ride lifts, take holidays and spell words properly with the crazy rules our ancestors made up. So, when people come to this country, its expected that you speak English too. You ride in our lifts, sleep on the sofa in our flats, and drink lemonade, not soda. Equally, when I visit America, I shall ask for the bathroom when I need the loo, take the elevator to find my apartment and try your donuts. Overall, I’ll respect your u-less honour, if you respect mine. And please, before you flag this for racism read it again. It’s not racist. Just because your culture is loud and popular doesn’t mean you can trample mine because it’s quiet and subtle.) What was I babbling about? Oh, yeah. Fanfic porn.

                Now, as I was saying, I’m not one of these arseholes who can’t stand to see people being creative, on the contrary, I like fan-fiction, and even write my own.  Also, I have nothing against porn, or badly written fics in general - it’s just the combo of them.

                OK, clue one. ‘Stuck it in’ is BAD description people. Oh, and making the dick twelve inches long doesn’t guarantee a good shag. Or hugely thick. Really, I man it it’s just annoying. And having really sized characters. I don’t want to imagine an anorexic Hermione, thank you! In my head, she has curves. And please try and stick to the author or creators character scheme please! Don’t take a character, let’s say…Demyx, and dye his hair purple, make him totally OOC and put him in an AU situation and give him a bike and an OC g/f. Please just don’t. One – the character isn’t the same if you change his personality, you know, his character? And the OC’s don’t get me started on the bloody OfrickingC’s!!!!

                I’ll have to save it for another day though kiddies, I gotta jet.

Title:	Excellent!
Date:	2007-10-09 @ 22:41
Security:	public
Location:	I'ma little lost...
Music:	LUNASEA - Rosier
Mood:	tired

     Now my journal looks suitably like it was dropped in a paintbox, I can finally begin. And typically, I'ma start by making a arse out of myself, with a dum introduction, like the nervous kid at the front of the class.
     My name's Sam, I'm a chick, and I must be really boring because that's all i have to say. Well, for now it is coz I really needed to pee. I'm lazy, but i'll probably edit this to say something a little more informative. Not that anyone's gonna rerad it but hey. Even typing to mjyself is better than insanity.
                                                                                                              Class dismissed!
                                                                                                                                              Sam xxx